Thursday, June 30, 2011

The Adjustment Bureau

I said "Maybe we're supposed to be together. We're meant to be with each other." This said in response to a feeling. Feelings I've had. Certain circumstances that just seem to coincidental. That punch in my stomach when I saw you for the first time. The uncontrollable desire and intensity to know you. To be with you. The circumstances around us meeting, being together. You could have gone to another school. I could have gone to another one too, and a year earlier. But that's so long ago. I've got a similar feeling to the one I had after I saw you for the first time. It's not as strong, but it's this horrible longing to be with you. To be really with you. To not have to say goodbye. I'm so sick of saying goodbye. Everyday I think about the day things will change, and I'll only ever have to say goodnight to you. This feeling is strong. And I wonder if you even feel it. And then your flight got delayed. You were supposed to have left me. Another goodbye. But I was given one more night with you. Oh how I cherished every moment. I was by your side. And when I'm there, the world just feels so right. I slept next you. I fell right asleep to your breathing. 
The next day, the tire blew. But I knew you wanted to go. I knew you didn't necessarily see or feel what I was feeling. Maybe you did... "I won't say I miss you because that would imply that you are somewhere other than right here with me as always." If you only knew. 
Then I watch the Adjustment Bureau. It's all about plans, coincidences, etc. I didn't know it would coincide with what I've been feeling, what's been going on. But it did. I think my plan, my destiny, my purpose is you. And I can only hope there comes a day when I'm by your side. And no where else. I'm by your side, right where I'm supposed to be. Where I belong. My dream is you. 

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